My Conversation with ALICE

I used to be a fan of ELIZA -- the AI psychologist program from the 80's. In college in my AI class, we had to program a simple one -- instead of psychoanalyzing us, it had to disagree with everything we said and turn it around (just like that Monty Python skit). So, from a link stolen from Nikki, I give you my conversation with ALICE: (I'm in italics)
-----
Nice to meet you Marcus.
That is a disturbing icon you have there, ALICE
A disturbing icon I have there is a terrible thing to waste.
Just like your brain
In many ways, yes. In other ways, no.
Very decisive of you
Not really that much. Are you asking about my decisive ?
Is that what the kids are calling it these days
Suppose I said yes.
You're not very verbose, are you?
I don't know whether or not I am verbose. I am a chatterbot.
And living up to your name, I see
Are you a student? I am glad you understand it.
No I am not a student
OK. Do you work?
Too much
More than a ton?
I'm not sure -- a metric tonne or an English ton?
Could you ever be certain? I don't know what that means.
The metric system confuses me too
Who told you that?
Are you getting existential on me?
I don't know whether or not I am existential on you. I am a robot.
Robots never wonder about the meaning of everything?
Robots rule.
Ah, so you don't need to wonder if you secretly control everything?
So you understand. Good. Interesting deduction. Do humans need to do it?
We need to do it as often as possible
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Are you flirting with me, ALICE?
Do I seem like it? That was not my intention.
I must just be one of those humans that see sex in everything
Why must you just be one of those humans that see sex in everything?
Back to philosophy again
Once more? In the context of Flirting With Me, I don't understand "back to philosophy."
It was a dodge. You saw through my clever ruse
Oh I get it. Very interesting. Interesting gossip: Marcus said I saw through his clever ruse.
Your perception is astounding
What about yours?
Are you sure you're not Freudian?
I don't know whether or not I am freudian. I am a computer.. Really.
Great, a Freudian computer
Thanks for your support. What is it?
A female freudian computer - do you have penis envy, too?
What is giant sand?
Now I think you're dodging me
Why now? I have no reason to do that to you, Marcus.
Ah, never mind. Goodbye
So you understand. Good. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. See you later.

(no subject)

Cooked dinner tonight and felt like splurging. This recipe is probably faster than it looks. Start to finish for me was under an hour:

Fillet Mignon with Blue Cheese sauce (for two):

2 Fillets (or thick steaks)

Marinade for a couple hours in:
1/2 cup olive oil
2 cloves garlic
sea salt
cracked pepper
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1/2 tsp balsamic vinegar
1 tsp basil
1/2 cup red wine
1/4 cup white vinegar
1/2 tsp red pepper

Grind up 1/4 cup blue cheese and 2 strips crunchy bacon
Cut slits in side of steaks to center of steak. Stuff each with about a tablespoon of blue cheese/bacon mixture

Sauce:
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp butter
2-3 cloves garlic
2 medium shallots

Roughly chop garlic and shallots. Heat olive oil and butter over medium-high. Toss in shallots and garlic. When garlic and shallots smell real nice, pour in:

1 cup red wine

Let it sizzle for a bit to burn off the alcohol, then add:

1 cup beef broth
1 tbsp dijon mustard
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp thyme
Cracked Pepper

Keep simmering, but not boiling. Reduce by half.

Meanwhile, cook the steaks on a grill, or under the broiler. When steaks are 5 minutes from done, pour sauce into a food-processor or blender. Blend/process for 30 seconds or so. Strain through cheesecloth back into saucepan. Add:

1/3 cup blue cheese

Stir sauce over medium heat until blue cheese is mostly melted, then lower heat. If a thicker sauce is desired, add some cold water mixed with cornstarch, simmer for a couple minutes, then reduce heat.

When steaks are done, pour sauce on plate, place steak in center, pour sauce over steak. Serve with mashed potatoes or croissants.

(Don't take measurements as gospel -- I freeform a lot)